fall to pieces

i open my eyes and all i could see is darkness

panic creeps in and my heart starts to beat fast

i try to inch myself blindly trying to hold unto something

slowly i reach but there is nothing there

this void i'm in is engulfing me fast

i feel myself about to lose consciousness

i breathe in but i feel no air coming

i try some more but it becomes harder and harder

this is it i tell myself, the time has come

i stop

i give in

all of a sudden, i'm gone

everything has fallen apart

---

Once again, I'm in a rot. This struggle I am feeling right now is really taking its toll. It's like playing tug of war between reality and idealism. It's exhausting. As much as I try distracting myself, there seems to be just no way out of it. It keeps up on me no matter how hard I try. Everything is falling to pieces. Everything is falling apart.